Avast! If ye be new to this vessel, partake in the lootin' with our Arrrrh! S.S. (RSS), Matey!

Want a good cup of joe without having to brew an entire pot? The Breville Single-Serve Coffeemaker allows you to do that with either disposable capsules or grinds of your favorite coffee. It has a water filtration system to ensure that your coffee is clean and pure. There’s also a convenient timer to make sure you don’t burn your place down, doofus. It also comes with 18 disposable coffee capsules. $300.

The Any Source Bluetooth Speaker System allows you to link any of your bluetooth devices to play on the speakers, be it your laptop, iPod, cell phone, PDA, or whatever. That’s pretty handy for the wireless age. It also has an RCA cable for your stone age non-bluetooth devices. Sony is also coming out with something similar, but it’s not out yet. $260.

The Burton Mess Pack Wool Messenger is a heavy-duty felt bag that not only safely carries your goods, but it also looks pretty sweet in a World War II sort of way. So whether you’re immersed in trench warfare or n a concrete jungle, this bag does the job for you. $80.

This title is just a great excuse to gear up your Wii Zapper and go blasting.

Take on zombies galore in House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return, which brings back the 2nd and 3rd editions of the arcade game to play on the Wii.

There are two-player and multiplayer modes to enjoy, and nothing gives us more pleasure than punishing zombies. $30.

Store all your precious pr0n files as well as transfer them easily with the new ClickFree HD700 hard drive. The great part about this baby is that it doesn’t require “one touch backup”. It features a 4.52- x 0.67- x 2.99-inch enclosure with a 120GB 5400RPM SATA drive. The HD700 is USB 2.0-capable, doesn’t require an extra power source, and starts right away when plugged into your Windows-based computer. $169.

The Maurice Lacroix Masterpiece Squelette shows some serious class with its 43mm 18kt rose gold case, AR-coated sapphire crystal, and sapphire display back. It’s water resistant to 50 meters. The watch’s movement is hand-wind ML134 caliber, and it’s hand-decorated with 17 jewels. If you’re looking for a ‘jellyfish’ Swiss watch that’s a little more bourgeois than you high-school Swatch, this might be the watch for you.

This sweet looking Nike Air Structure Triax ‘91 features some sick blue highlights and sturdy construction for street wear or working out. It’s a web exclusive colorway from Urban Outfitters, imported. $120.

This Oakley Kitchen Sink Pack has a little bit of everything, as the name would suggest. Compartments for your sunglasses, iPod, laptop, cell phone, etc. etc. guarantee that you’re fully geared up when you roam around the city or wilderness. $175.