Avast! If ye be new to this vessel, partake in the lootin' with our Arrrrh! S.S. (RSS), Matey!

What better way to compromise with your significant other when it comes to decorating the house? She wants polished and refined, and you want something masculine. Well, light up both of your lives with these gun shaped lamps made from aluminum, and then touched up with a gloss finish. Girly-men need not apply. $1,220-3,270.

As if Google didn’t already have a monopoly on just about everything, they decided to influence your Mojo through their Google Lava Lamps. These colorful retro lights take you 20+ years before the inception of Google to those paisley days when your daddy was ‘googling’ your mommy. And speaking of plugging, they come with a UK plug so you’ll need an adapter. £25.