Avast! If ye be new to this vessel, partake in the lootin' with our Arrrrh! S.S. (RSS), Matey!

This hot pair of Nike Air Max 95’s feature some flamingo accents that just speak pimp. The huge Nike Air bubble provides unparalled comfort since the sneaker’s introduction in 1995. $160.

As if Google didn’t already have a monopoly on just about everything, they decided to influence your Mojo through their Google Lava Lamps. These colorful retro lights take you 20+ years before the inception of Google to those paisley days when your daddy was ‘googling’ your mommy. And speaking of plugging, they come with a UK plug so you’ll need an adapter. £25.

For an out of this world lighting experience with a depressing Soviet twist, go for the Sputnik 6 Ceiling Light. This retro satellite looking thing features 6 individual bulbs mixed in with other protrusions with a chrome finish. Better have a stratosphere high ceiling to use this one. £99.